It’s Not Always the Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Concerns about Christmas

Putting up your decorations, listening to Christmas songs and cooking the all-important Christmas dinner. Christmas is supposed to be a wonderful time of year, and for some it really is.

However, Christmas can be a really difficult time for some people. The loss of a loved one is hard at any time of year, but feelings of bereavement can be heightened during the festive period. The World Health Organization defines depression as ‘a common mental disorder, characterized by persistent sadness and a loss of interest in activities that you normally enjoy, accompanied by an inability to carry out daily activities’. As noted by Dr. Rafael Euba “Christmas does not make us depressed, but it highlights what may be missing in our lives.” Christmas bookmarks the end of our year and allows us to reflect on everything that has happened.

Additionally, Christmas comes with high expectations. Christmas is an expensive time of year and adds financial strain. Feeling stressed about money is overwhelming, but there are ways to try and manage this. Plan ways to reduce spending such as; setting a budget, opting for ‘Secret Santa’ instead of buying everyone a gift, or making homemade thoughtful gifts/cards. Instead of catering for all guests, asks guests to contribute to the Christmas meal and make things more equally spread. It really is the thought that counts and the time spent together.

There are also the expectations of families to spend loads of time together and get along. On one hand it is great because you get the time off work to use. Yet, familial relationships have challenges like any relationship. Maybe there has been some unresolved conflict creating tension, causing anxiety about events where families will be getting together. There are some ways to help manage the anxiety regarding this. Set realistic expectations, try not to think that Christmas will be perfect just because of the time of year. Try to put any conflict aside especially if there are children involved, allow them to enjoy themselves without any awkwardness. If a certain topic contributes to arguments, then avoid that topic. Limit alcohol consumption at these events. Alcohol can contribute to stress, anxiety and depression, despite it being strongly promoted in adverts over this period. Alcohol can limit our control; being in control means we can behave optimally for the situation.

As mentioned, Christmas is a time where we want to be with the people we care about. It is not always possible for this to happen and can onset feelings of intense sadness and isolation. Try to connect with friends and family. Even if you’re separated by distance, you can stay in touch with loved ones online or by phone. Technology means the world becomes a smaller place. A great way to improve your mood during Christmas is doing more for others. When we give to others we connect, and we feel good in ourselves. Consider being a volunteer. There are lots of charities who need help. Attend community events to share in the celebrations and socialize. Find out what’s on locally and get involved. Whether it is singing in carols, attending church services or seeing the local markets, being busy can be a good combat for loneliness.

Dealing with grief can be difficult over Christmas but celebrating the event in memory of loved one is also suggested by people affected by grief themselves. If the person you have lost enjoyed Christmas, then carry on enjoying it for them.

If you know someone who may be at risk of loneliness over the festive period, reach out.

Remember, as much as Christmas has been commercialized as a magical and a perfect time, it is only one day. Think about some of these tips and how you can manage Christmas better if you are feeling worried about it.

#Christmas #Loneliness